Preface#
This article is a record and reflection on life from 2024-11-29 to 2024-12-08.
In the past week, I accomplished something significant: I proposed. I reflected a lot on marriage and love; however, due to the preparations for the wedding, I felt physically and mentally exhausted, even falling ill for over a week for the first time in a long while. There were also many interesting things.
On Proposals, Marriage, and Love#
Since returning from Thailand, it seems I've pressed the fast-forward button on various aspects of life. From suddenly deciding to get married during an ordinary dinner, choosing rings that we both like, visiting my senior's family in Inner Mongolia, discussing hotels and wedding planning, to finding a photographer for a secret proposal, there were moments of joy and happiness, along with anxiety, fatigue, and self-doubt.
On Proposals#
Before this, neither of us felt that marriage was a necessary thing, nor did we ever think that this man-made social constraint had any inevitable connection with love. In fact, we were somewhat afraid that these imposed processes and "ceremonial feelings" would consume the already precious intensity of our love. We thought that loving each other like this was good enough, at least for the two of us as individuals.
But it seems there really exists a moment when you feel you want to live with this person in the future, to be together with everyone's blessings, and then the thought of "let's get married" suddenly appears. I don't know if all couples experience this moment; it's magical, like an impulse where emotion precedes reason, happening naturally.
Regarding the proposal itself, I watched many videos, from the ceiling-level romance of "Little Deer Lawrence" in "I Proposed!!", to the special meaning in "KatAndSid"'s "After seven years of dating, I proposed under the witness of a whale", and the heartfelt storytelling of "Richard in the Tree Hole" in "I proposed to my classmate I liked ten years ago in front of a train at five centimeters per second". I watched them over and over, and I was always moved by their love.
I seem to have some personal desires or obsessions about this; I also want a cool and impressive proposal and wedding, something different from everyone else, like Sid said in the video:
Our romance will become a kind of ideology, prevailing in the world, lasting for a long time.
But as this idea grew (I actually thought of it more than half a year ago), I gradually found it difficult to execute perfectly, even making me somewhat avoidant. I recorded too little and too scattered in daily life, making it impossible to edit into a complete narrative video; it seemed that due to various reasons like visas and work, I couldn't reach any extremely beautiful places in such a short time; even I, who pride myself on having a sense of ceremony, proposed the marriage (Proposal) before the actual proposal (Proposal) itself, not knowing how to retain a sense of surprise; I didn't want to be in the spotlight but still wanted our exclusive record, having our own "life photos" or footage.
In the end, during a photoshoot capturing our life in Hangzhou, I prearranged the scene and code with the photographer, suddenly ambushing with a notebook and bouquet as props. Although I felt like a priest while reciting the proposal vows, and the crowd grew as I read two pages, and even though I didn't have a ring, it felt incomplete, when that final moment arrived, everything seemed just right.
On Love and Marriage#
Many people ask, and I also began to rethink, at what moment did I decide to spend the rest of my life with this person?
After thinking for a long time, it seems to be two moments. One was when we were discussing future plans to go abroad, and I suddenly realized that the other person seemed to be inherently present in our planned future; the other was during a conflict and reconciliation when my senior said, "Now we are good friends again."
In my favorite American TV show "Friends," during Chandler and Monica's wedding, Monica said:
My prince, my soul mate, my friend.
This is probably what I envision an ideal love to be like — finding all romance or the imagination of romance in another person, with a resonance of souls, and being each other's best friends.
Even though there are still many uncertainties and confusions, at the moment of holding each other's hands, everything feels very simple.
And it seems I have also found it.
Interesting Things and Items#
Reading Notes#
Recently, I have been reading the book "The Daily Life of Creators," which records various people's interesting daily routines. The author's way of speaking is very mean and quite interesting.
When talking about Marx writing "Capital," he said, "I have never heard of anyone so short of money who would still write about money";
When discussing the alcoholic Toulouse-Lautrec, he added in parentheses, "In fact, he only lived to thirty-six";
When talking about Henry Green, who could rely on family inheritance but still went to work every day, he added, "Green's reliance on daytime work is undoubtedly also because his actual job is almost zero."
Perhaps because the author is mainly known for writing blogs, his straightforward language style is strangely appealing to me.
Oil Painting Class#
It's time for my weekly oil painting class at the National Academy of Art! I painted a piece that I quite like.
Inputs#
Although most interesting inputs are automatically synced to the "Yu's Life" Telegram channel, I still selected a portion to list here, making it feel more like a newsletter. Additionally, I built a microblog using Telegram Channel messages as content sources — "daily.pseudoyu.com", making it easier to browse.
Books#
- The Daily Life of Creators, which records various people's interesting daily routines. The writing style is blog-like, somewhat mean and really interesting. After reading, I gained a more personified understanding of various artists who only existed in textbooks (some people are really fun), and I also got a lot of references from the creative and work processes.
- Fogg Behavior Model, I actually don't consider myself a fan of this type of book, always feeling that once I hack the logic behind behaviors in advance, I can't believe it will work. But Fogg's book surprised me a lot; when cultivating/changing some habits, I think from the MAP (Motivation, Ability, and Prompt) perspective and also started to break down and cultivate small habits. Interestingly, yesterday, following a tutorial, I deleted distractions from my phone and configured it into a text launcher mode, which exactly matched the model's point of increasing resistance to bad habits/distractions, and it was really effective.
- The Wall of Small Towns and Uncertainty, with a setting similar to "Kafka on the Shore," a small town, shadows, and dual narrative, but perhaps this time I read it in a more peaceful and calm state, allowing me to understand it better. Rather than a novel, it feels more like self-exploration and dialogue, revolving around Murakami himself and about us readers.
Collections#
Articles#
Videos#
- vlog #82｜Daily Learning Records After Work｜November Review｜Learning React+Electron｜Reading "The Law of Attraction"｜TED and Daily English Learning｜The Last Month of 2024, Keep Going
- 【Mao Buyi】Do you still keep in touch with your best friend? "Thinking of Them" MV
- He bravely exposes the dark side of Japan…｜Dialogue with Hiroshi Kurosawa!
Series#
- Penguin Town, I initially had low expectations as a spin-off series, but it was indeed wonderful, especially the presentation and changes in character psychology in the first few episodes. The ending was a bit abrupt, so I was still checking for updates this week, only to find there are only 8 episodes.