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Weekly Report #61 - A Friend's Wedding and Reflections on Marriage



This article is a record and reflection on the life from 2024-06-07 to 2024-06-16.

A Friend's Wedding#

I went to Beijing for a wedding during the Dragon Boat Festival. It was the wedding of my close friend from high school, Zhanzi.

In high school, we were in the liberal arts class, with only eight boys, one of whom suddenly had the idea of revitalizing Chinese literature and dropped out in his second year to write a book. So, there were only seven of us who spent our senior year together. Perhaps because there were so few people, we developed a sense of camaraderie and warmth. We have maintained a frequency of meeting two or three times a year since graduation until the outbreak of the pandemic.

Among them, three of us, including me, have maintained particularly close contact. We have a small group for daily chats, and we meet for meals when we are on business trips to Beijing, Shanghai, or Hangzhou. We have also visited each other's homes, tasted each other's cooking, and met important people in each other's lives.

Last year, one of the three of us in the group got married. At that time, I had some regrets because I didn't become a groomsman due to my blue long hair. When Zhanzi's wedding date was set, he invited me to be his groomsman, and I was the only one. The English term for groomsman is "best man," which is a very tempting title. It was a pleasant surprise and something I cherished.

In fact, apart from the responsibilities at the wedding, I think inviting important people to witness a significant milestone in one's life is a romantic thing to do.

A few days before the wedding, I tried on suits for an afternoon and found that I couldn't hold the temperament completely. In the end, I put together a casual suit from a men's clothing online store that I often buy from. It was the most formal outfit I had ever worn in my life. I didn't have the heart to cut my hair short, but I did tidy it up and styled it like an adult.

The wedding took place on a lawn, a form I had seen many times in movies but was experiencing for the first time in reality. It had a sense of ceremony and warmth. As someone who had been involved in the wedding preparations early on, I could feel the details and thoughtfulness behind this perfect ceremony.

The bridesmaids on the bride's side were stunning, especially one of them, who was particularly eye-catching. As I was about to go on stage, I was still memorizing the order of the left and right hands when presenting the wedding ring. It was a funny contrast, and I was looking forward to seeing the live footage later.

Wedding and Marriage#

In fact, as early as mid-May, I accompanied them to discuss the details with the wedding planning company. Looking at the long and detailed schedule, item list, and layout drawings, I was amazed at the complexity and cost of a wedding. When we discussed the price, I saw that the two flower gates and the flower arrangements on the seats added up to over 50,000 yuan. When my sister and I arrived at the wedding venue and saw the flower gates, we couldn't help but think of these numbers.

Weddings always seem to be labeled as "once in a lifetime," so it seems that it is worth paying so much effort and money for that perfect moment. But I often wonder, who is this wedding really for when something that was originally sentimental and romantic becomes a never-ending list of items and precise numbers in an Excel spreadsheet, and every move of the bride and groom has to be perfectly regulated?

Perhaps because my sister and I value experiences more than formalities, we may feel that it would be more memorable to co-plan and shoot a documentary about marriage and love, or to go on a "tour" with a veil and blessings to meet a close friend we haven't seen in years. It would also be more meaningful to take some real and precious vows in a church in a country or city we love.

But standing by the groom's side and witnessing the vows and touching moments at the wedding, I feel that perhaps it doesn't matter how it is done, as long as it is with the right person.


Blog Comments#


When I found out that Ququ, a great person who has been in my subscription list since the days of using RSS readers, read my weekly report and even left a comment, I felt a sense of success and the breaking of the fourth wall 😭

Readers' Support#


On my birthday, I held a lottery and selected six readers who left comments. Three winners chose EpubKit memberships, two chose physical books, and one chose WeChat Reading.

Interestingly, one of the winners sent me a set of thick books in return. Last year, in the comments of my birthday summary article "The Man Who Pushes the Stone," he suggested that even Sisyphus should shrug his shoulders. Today, when I saw the "Atlas Shrugged" he sent me, I felt a strange and warm sense of companionship and connection 🥰.

Switching Note-taking Systems#


Today, I spent an afternoon organizing my notes and found that Logseq has changed my thinking habits to some extent. Although recording in the form of daily notes does reduce the mental burden of recording, it also makes me think less continuously. My thoughts are now transformed into bullet points, but often they cannot be connected into a complete blog post, and many things I have learned are slowly forgotten.

So I made up my mind to switch to Obsidian. I didn't install many plugins. I want to record things in a more primitive single-text mode, starting with files that begin with "20240615 + keywords" and adding tags before each article. This way, I can organize things more systematically.

Changing macOS Theme#


I found a completely dark icon + wallpaper theme, which creates a very immersive effect (except that I can't change the icon for Finder, which is very eye-catching). The actual effect is shown in the picture.

Interesting Things and Items#


Although most interesting inputs are automatically synchronized in the "Yu's Life" Telegram channel, I will list some of them here, as it feels more like a newsletter.


  • Beside the Bugs, I became curious after attending a study camp, and the book made bugs seem more friendly.
  • Atlas Shrugged, a gift from a reader, I read a little every morning.




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