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Weekly Report #42 - Views on Emotions, Life Status, and Self




This article is a record and reflection on the life of the week from 2023-06-13 to 2023-06-21.

I have been busy traveling this week and have had some emotional fluctuations. After returning, I have been busy with some trivial matters, so I didn't have the time to write this weekly report until now.

Before returning to Beijing, I met with my former leaders and had many discussions about web3, AI, and various technical issues. I had dinner with old colleagues and had a great time chatting about different lifestyles and mindsets. I participated in a Drink & Draw event, which was novel and pleasant. I also had the opportunity to travel to Shanghai with Boyi, who happened to be on a business trip. It was a familiar and precious experience. On Saturday, I attended HZLUG and met many developers I admired on Twitter. There were many interesting things happening.

In addition, I changed the song to "Gentle" by Mayday.

Views on Emotions#


In previous weekly reports, I often mentioned emotions as a place for emotional release. However, as my focus on life gradually shifted, I moved to the other extreme and stopped mentioning it.

It wasn't until the summary of my birthday that I had to recall the darkest moment of the past year that I picked up some memories again. It was only when I chatted with Ni a few days ago that I realized that what I couldn't get over was not a specific person or a specific relationship, but the memories and the unresolved issues and so-called harm caused by my own assumptions.

I knew that whether I wanted to move on or reorganize my life, I needed to face these experiences and internalize them into my own views on emotions. However, I chose to postpone it and immersed myself in a state of self-deception. I didn't want to face it or think about it. I just told myself, "It's only been a year, there's no rush." Perhaps people always love themselves more instinctively and are willing to protect themselves.

A conversation that was not unexpected made me realize this self-deception and made me realize that I have gradually lost the courage to face emotions. My thoughts on emotions became unclear and even chaotic. I am also afraid of the emotions that I have developed. I am afraid that the worst version of myself cannot handle such a complicated relationship, and I am also afraid of my own hypocrisy in pursuing temporary happiness.

At any stage, perhaps the greatest obstacle to overcome is oneself. It seems that I really need some time to reorganize my views on emotions, to rediscover myself, and to start anew.

Life Status#

The same goes for life status. I originally thought that with remote work, I would have more time to adjust my schedule, focus on health, or do more things I want to do. However, most of the time, I still put my thoughts and time into work and some learning. It's not that I'm overworking myself, but I often have a nonchalant attitude towards other aspects of my life, as if I am observing my own life from a distance.


As I try to bring my life and everything around me back on track, I have also started to pay attention to my sleep, wake up early to go for a run, and reorganize my reading list. After the run, I read a few pages.

The next morning, I walked to the riverside of the ancient town, watching the scattered sunlight shining through the gaps in the leaves on the ground. When I couldn't resist the urge to take a photo, I realized that I had gradually regained some long-lost expectations for life itself. I set my heart on it and moved forward.

Personal Life Highlights#



I experienced a Drink & Draw event for the first time. Although I only drank at the scene, it was an interesting experience. There were models on stage creating various scenes, and many people who love drawing immersed themselves in it. Some sketches were already full of charm with just a few strokes, while others meticulously portrayed every detail. I observed from the side and seemed to find some tranquility.

I have been to Shanghai many times, so I didn't take many photos this time. However, it was a rare opportunity to explore without a tight schedule.


Invited by a friend, I hurriedly went to Shanghai on Sunday to attend Rust China Conf 2023. As a Gopher, I didn't understand most of it, but the surroundings were really nice. I feel like the clothes, bags, and tote bags I received from events in the past few months are enough for me to wear until next year.

I also had the pleasure of meeting "Tiny Bear," a teacher from the Denge community, who was introduced to me by a friend. When I first learned about blockchain and smart contracts, I watched many tutorials on Denge. I didn't expect to meet him now and he is helping me prepare a video tutorial on the Solidity Foundry framework. It feels like breaking through a dimension wall that feels unreal.



And the adorable Nie Nie!

Interesting Things#


Although most interesting inputs are automatically synchronized in the "Yu's Life" Telegram channel, I will list some of them here. It feels more like a newsletter.



Here are some interesting videos I watched:




  • Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba - Entertainment District Arc, Ahhh! It's great, Nezuko! Everyone, go watch it!
  • My Senpai is Annoying, still following!

TV Shows#

  • Black Mirror Season 6, the first episode is really good, but it's not as amazing as the first two seasons.

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