Preface#
Today is June 6, 2025, and I am 28 years old.
Sitting by the window on the 18th floor of a hotel in Kinshicho, Tokyo, I can see the sunset over the Tokyo Skytree. The leisurely feeling of a honeymoon intertwines with the complex emotions of aging another year; it’s quite wonderful.
Tokyo Love Story#
“That day, that moment, there, if I had not met you, we would have forever been strangers.” — Tokyo Love Story
Tokyo Love Story can be said to have shaped my initial impressions of Japanese dramas, urban life, and even my views on love. So when my senior asked me where I wanted to celebrate my birthday in Tokyo a few days ago, I almost immediately said Tokyo Tower, wanting to get closer to the passionate urban love of the Showa era.
When I first watched Tokyo Love Story, I was still very young, naive about love and life, yet I was still moved by Rika's pure, intense, and unreserved love, secretly yearning for such a love that is hard to come by.
In the past two years, I have transitioned from Weekly Review #43 - In the Mood for Love about love, to Weekly Review #80 - On Proposals, Love, and Marriage about proposals, and then to Weekly Review #87 - We Hosted Our Own Pokémon Wedding and Held an Exhibition for It about weddings. It seems that all the beauty in life has quietly arrived by my side, and amidst happiness, there is often a sense of fear — what if I hadn’t gone to Beijing that Friday two years ago, or if I hadn’t gone to Hong Kong before, or if we had never met at all? What would our lives be like?
There are too many "what ifs" or other possibilities, but sometimes love just happens suddenly, not something destined or fated for three lifetimes, but rather at a certain moment, the rhythm of heartbeats and souls just happens to fall on the same beat, and thus, time freezes.
I seem to gradually understand that the romance most talked about in urban life, as expressed in Tokyo Love Story, is actually the romance of coincidence. We meet at a certain point, hold each other's hands, and that is already the greatest fortune.
To Find Myself#
My senior mentioned in her wedding vows that she hopes the identity of being a husband or the shackles of it do not bind me, and that I can seek my true self more.
However, after entering married life, it is inevitably more about "we" than "I." Although there aren’t any specific goals or changes in state, there is still a vague sense of invisible responsibility and pressure.
Our life is pure and beautiful, and we are fortunate to understand and support each other in what we want to do. But when one desires something, one must also sacrifice something. The choice between the moon and sixpence sometimes floats in my mind; it may not lead to worry, but it still adds some heavier dimensions to my thoughts that often need to be digested alone.
On the other hand, walking alongside someone who shares no time difference with oneself builds a kind of intimacy. Life is concrete and solid, yet it also intertwines with another kind of "loneliness." Knowing that the person across from you will accept every side of you, will try to empathize and feel, sometimes makes one more afraid of transmitting negative energy to the other. This can sometimes create distance between each other, becoming a thorn in the relationship. This seems to be an ever-present yet unsolvable marital dilemma.
Love is beautiful, but marriage is complex. I hope that we always see each other in our eyes, yet I also do not wish for one person's shadow to block the other's view, leaving less space for self-dissolution or listening to one's own echoes.
Conclusion#
Every year on my birthday, I still leave behind some written records, and sometimes I look back at the trajectory of growth and thought over the years:
- A 26-Year-Old's Confession: The Stone Pusher
- A 27-Year-Old's Confession: Growing Up is a Disappointing Thing
It seems that writing allows me to discover a sense of inevitability and eternity from the chaotic randomness of life. There are some compromises, but fortunately, I have not stopped seeking. From A 23-Year-Old's Confession: To Pursue Meaning, I gradually returned to my true self, finding the person with whom I will spend the rest of my life. Counting carefully, life has already given me so many gifts.
Wishing my 28-year-old self happiness.