Weekly Report #59 - Journey to the Desert, Family and Loved Ones

Preface#

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This article is a record and reflection on the past two weeks of life from 2024-05-01 to 2024-05-15.

During the May Day holiday, I went to Inner Mongolia with my family. It was only after we set off that I realized it was the first time our whole family had traveled together. Before this, the farthest we had gone was driving to Shanghai Disneyland, so it was quite a different experience. Therefore, in this article, I would like to talk about family and loved ones, as well as an unforgettable trip to the desert.

Family and Loved Ones#

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Actually, I have never considered myself a person who is attached to home. I grew up in my hometown until I was seven or eight years old before transferring to Hangzhou for school. Maybe it was because I missed out on some moments of childhood companionship, but at first, there seemed to be some distance between my parents and me.

When I was a child, my grades were average, and I was introverted and not good at expressing myself. I often hung out in arcades, but I couldn't fit in with the troublemakers or the well-behaved kids. My parents were the most kind-hearted and harmonious people I had ever seen. Whether as individuals or as a small family, I had never seen them argue, and they rarely criticized me.

When I was twelve or thirteen years old, it seemed like I suddenly grew up. I started focusing on my studies and no longer let my parents worry about me. I made decisions about various aspects of life and academics on my own, from small things like which subjects to study to important matters like giving up guaranteed admission or choosing college majors. I realized early on that I had to take responsibility for the consequences of my decisions. My parents respected and gave me the freedom I deserved, but at that time, I felt a lack of involvement and companionship. I even envied my classmates who were "overly cared for" by their parents.

After the college entrance examination, I wanted to leave the familiar Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai region and see the world. So I went to Wuhan, and my life since then has been full of ups and downs. I have moved or rushed to another city many times, but I rarely feel homesick.

Of course, I have a good relationship with my parents. Sometimes, when I pass through Hangzhou on a business trip late at night, we will chat in the living room for hours, sharing my experiences and thoughts. I am also close to my younger sister. Whenever she sees me, she keeps talking about interesting things that happened at school. She will call me first when she makes progress in her studies. My parents take care of me too. They have driven thousands of kilometers several times to pick me up from Beijing and have brought me meals when I stay at home.

Perhaps because I have relied on myself for too long, our relationship is more like that of friends, making it difficult for me to draw energy from family affection. However, after these years of growth, I gradually understand that they have given me something more precious and I have become more grateful for their "letting go" at the beginning. It has given me courage and confidence to face the challenges of life.

Desert Trip#

However, I have gradually been exploring ways to bond with my family. Surprisingly, it was during the initial period of the pandemic when I was at home and during the past few months living in Hangzhou that I had more experiences that could be considered "family bonding." Last summer, we went to Shanghai Disneyland together to celebrate my sister's birthday. Occasionally, on weekend nights, we would go to a hot pot restaurant as a family. These seemingly ordinary things rarely happened in my family's past twenty-something years.

My parents came to Hangzhou in their early years and settled here, working hard to provide us with good material conditions and a family environment. However, they neglected their own lives, so we rarely traveled together. My sister and I both have personalities that enjoy our own company, so we don't complain about it. However, we have missed out on some family memories and have hardly taken any group photos.

Recently, due to certain circumstances, we had to go to Inner Mongolia. I had longed to see the grasslands and deserts, so our whole family went to Ordos, Inner Mongolia.

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Having grown up in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, my life trajectory has hardly deviated from the southeastern coast. So this was even my first time seeing a desert, and it easily reminded me of the movie "Dune" that I had just watched.

What's important is not the scenery itself, but the people who accompany you through these landscapes and the memories that are created together.

Others#

me_with_nienie

Recently, due to busy work and some existential questions, I have been mentally strained. One afternoon, after finishing work, I turned my head and saw that Nienie had been by my side, looking at me attentively. I felt healed and realized that I have become more reliant on her presence as our time together has grown longer.

Interesting Things#

Input#

Although most interesting inputs are automatically synchronized in the "Yu's Life" Telegram channel, I will list some of them here. It feels more like a newsletter.

Books#

Frankl's Autobiography: I read the wrong book. It seems that the late-life autobiography inevitably contains a lot of ego. I should have read another book. 🥲
Kafka on the Shore: Continuing to catch up on Haruki Murakami's books.

pseudoyu